This is Bertie Bedpann's own original composition titled: THE MARLBORO MAN BONSAI. Isn't she original? And just think of all the Marlboros she had to puff on to get that cute little box.
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Hilda came up with this companion planting which is larger than most of her bonsai bushes. It is papyrus in an IBM printer. Of course, IBM equipment never works anyway, so why not? Hilda won the Wadams Free Library Originality Award for the 1998 gardeners marathon. No, it was not the papyrus planting but her fourteen year old petunia bonsai which audaciously stole the prize.
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This is Ludmilla's ratty old juniper that she swiped from the Jay PO just as it was being demolished. She thinks it looks like a graceful swan but I think it looks more like a nasty stalking man.
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Upcoming events:
- 15 April:
Post Easter transformation workshop. Hilda Grimrugh will lead this exciting event in which we will transform plastic bonsai pots into ashtrays. Bring your welding torches, gals. Be equally sure to bring along your goggles to protect your sensitive artist's eyes. Refreshments will include scrapple and sauerkraut Jell-O, provided by Countess Olga. No sherry at this one.
- 28 April:
This delightful event will feature the universally acclaimed bonsai artist Maryon Gyllengoose, who will assist us in an ashtray planting of mosses and weeds collected from Saranac Swamp by Amelia Aerblatter during her annual moose census. Refreshments will be served by our very own gourmet baker, Beatrice Bouncer. I think she plans to make eelcakes, but she may not. Do call her and insist.
- 17 May:
Work time, girls. It is time to get the beloved Grim Ripper out of dry-dock and get in some good oarwoman exercise. It is also cholesterol lowering. Let's all meet at Hattie's for sherry and sweet-treats and then carpool down to Medgar's Marina. Bring all the festive decorations you want, but nothing perishable as the nights will still be frosty – no flowers or vegetables. The Haughty Triumvirate will supply the usual delightful luncheon – I think something birdy this time like duck skin salad.
- 1 June:
Club sing-along at Countess Olga's boathouse on Lake Placid, 8PM until midnight. Olga will supply all the sherry you can tittle, but you have to bring your own ice cubes. Olga does not turn on the boathouse fish freezer until the middle of the month when the city trash arrives.
- 4 July:
Big event, big event, very big event: Yes, ladies, this year we are having our annual 4th of July ox roast on the Grim Ripper right in the middle of lake Champlaign. The Reverend Lois Lumpquist will lead our morning service and Latvian Hymn sing, so be sure to get to Medgar's by 7am. This will be followed by an onboard bacon 'n sherry breakfast, followed by morning oarlady maneuvers off the sacred juniper cliffs. We will then tolerate the bonsai gab of our July bonsai expert, a man (see special meeting notes), the infamous Daniel P. Robingson from Oregon or somewhere. All the while, the immaculate triumvirate will be roasting the ox
in our very own onboard brick roasting pit while basting it with sweet sherry. Won't that smell delicious, girls, as that man creates a raffle shohin for us with a chainsaw as his only shaping tool? Little does he know that the guest speaker always gets the traditional 4th dunking after the ox and before the evening sherry 'n fireworks, but don't anyone tell him. We always enjoy little surprises on our creative field trips. Berverly Bobolink is supplying the fireworks this year and claims she has already completed a stealth mission to the Plattsburg Munitions Yard next to the A&W.
Past Events:
- Christmas decoration party:
Congratulations, gals, you did a splendid job. We especially enjoyed the microscopic, HO gauge lights from Rock Lantern Discoveries for our mame. Hilda's carrot bonsai were splendid flocked in pink.
- Christmas Eve Party:
Shame, shame, shame on you girls. I still haven't figured out who smuggled in the cheap gin.
- February Cross-Country Event:
Good for you hearty gals. Not only did we cover 1.6 kilometers on skis, but we managed to prune 437 potential trees for bonsai, eat 14.6 pounds of Spam, and consume almost 14 one gallon bottles of sherry. Next time, though, try not to lose your skis during snack breaks. And we could use more than ten participants next year.
- Special Meeting Results:
The Board of the Sacred Seven voted 5 to 2 to allow male visiting celebrities for the calendar year of 1999 only (we wouldn't want to turn the century with a man on board, would we?) Matilde Wesendank protested furiously and was denied sherry privileges for three weeks.
Contact US?
No, we don't want any trashy e-mail. Send your formal, hand written inquiries to:
Boquet Bonsai Club
RD1 Box 328
Essex, NY 12936
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